We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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