It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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