I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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