I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize