weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
