Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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