Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
