Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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