So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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