so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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