Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
