So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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