when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
