Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
