i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
