Moan for me like Helen Keller
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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