i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
