Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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