real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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