YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
