All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
