I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize