i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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