so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
