K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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