you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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