porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I fill condoms, not promises.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
