...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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