the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize