He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
