yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
