if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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