he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
