I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
