I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
