You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
