return my video game
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
