That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
