First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
3 2 1 whiskey
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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