After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
