For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
