I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
