So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
thus making me awesome and them whores
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
