White coat. Heels.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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