He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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