FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
