She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
