party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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