I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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