Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the condom got lost in my hair
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
try to milk me bitch
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