Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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