Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Even my vagina gasped.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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