Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
