I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dick very happy bro
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize