I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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