Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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