He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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