I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize